Monday, April 23, 2018

Robo Brush

I re-purposed a vintage vortex mixer (test tube mixer) to make an electric scrubber
- saves me a lot of work.
Shown here with optional blade sharpener attached.

The Anatomy Lesson

While  I was busy pointing out the finer details of the anatomy inside a lizard my partner took this photo  without anyone noticing it was being done.
Some Dutch bloke called Rembrandt tried to do a similar picture:

But I think Donna's is better.

Thursday, January 18, 2018

A Better Sediment trap; for potters etc.

I was asked to design a sediment trap that could cope with several litres per minute of heavily sedimented water.
Came up with this cheap and easy to build design that uses less space than the conventional approach and is light and easy to clean out.

Saturday, November 25, 2017

Why Do Koalas Only Eat Eucalypt Leaves? (English Version)

Having dissected a few Koalas and being familiar with their gastrointestinal (GI) tracts I considered that if they ate anything more fermentable than eucalypt leaves (i.e. Grass, fruit etc.) then the gases produced from fermentation would remain immobile as they would not be able to overcome the backpressure created by the size of their enormous GI tract and its contents. This would cause extreme bloating and pressure incompatible with long-term survival.

Warning - contains picture of koala guts

Why Do Koalas Only Eat Eucalypt Leaves? (Technical Version)

Having dissected a few Koalas and being familiar with their gastrointestinal (GI) tracts I hypothesized that if they ate anything less bactericidal and with more digestible carbohydrates than eucalypt leaves (i.e. Grass, fruit etc.) then the gases produced from fermentation would remain immobile as they would not be able to overcome the backpressure created by the size of their enormous GI tract and its contents. This would cause extreme gastric distension and intra-abdominal pressure incompatible with long-term survival.

Warning - contains picture of koala GI tract

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

The Most Sophisticated Animal Maceration Plant on the Planet

Fast throughput, multi-stage, aerated, continuous flow, insulated, temperature and pH regulated.
Click below for more pictures.

Sunday, December 18, 2016

Convert FASTA files to One Read / One line in WINDOWS

Some of the Big Data coming off the interweb unfortunately doesn't have each 'Read' starting on a new line - programmatically, this makes data reading and manipulation more difficult. Here's the quick and dirty (and suprizingly fast) fix.

The shortcut keys are for Windows - if you have a computer named after a fruit or that other one which makes you type a lot there will be something similar.

1: Open the FASTA file in notepad.
2: Open "Search and Replace" <Ctrl + H>.
3: Replace All ">" with "<br>".
4: Save the file and open it in your favourite browser - Now you see!
5: Select All <Ctrl + A>, Copy <Ctrl + C> and Paste <Ctrl + V> back into notepad.
6: Optionally Replace All "<br>" with ">" and save - Job Done!

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Folder -> HTM index - FREE Program -

Folder to HTM index creates a web (htm) page in the folder of your choice with links to all the files in that folder.
Works on any version of Windows - no need to install, just download and doubleclick to run it.
I created the program because browsing files in some mobile devices can be very tedious - and after having downloaded almost fifty chapters of a book, each in individual webpages.

Click Here to get for free

Sunday, June 28, 2015

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Excessive Earwax Cure

Short answer - Cup of warm water with a pinch of salt.

Nototherium Skull (Partial)



Tuesday, January 07, 2014

GEEK CHIC Retro VHS case for 7 inch Android Pad

1. Get your hands on a VHS case - as a last resort there's always
2. Find and print a suitably cool cover from somewhere like
3. Make yourself very familiar with the location of your femoral artery.
4. Use something sharp to hollow out the VHS case and make holes for cables.
5. Use foam tape (the stuff used to weather seal around doors and windows) to provide impact protection and make a nice snug fit for your pad.
6. Put a bit of Blu-Tac in there - it can be used to make the pad sit at the right angle for desktop viewing.

Add a USB hub, a full sized keyboard and a mouse; If you shop carefully, you have something you can actually do useful stuff with (like post to blogs) for less than $100.

Thursday, August 08, 2013

Learn Japanese Karate terminology

One problem with studying traditional Karate is the need to learn the terminology in Japanese.
It only took me a few weeks to realise that I was going to need more than osmosis to learn this, so I wrote a language training program.

It can be viewed here:

Easy -

Challenging -

The whole thing runs in a Web Browser and requires cookies and javascript enabled.


Saturday, July 27, 2013 - New Website Launched

I've launched a new WebSite Australia's premiere one-stop directory for anyone seeking catering services.

Welcome to meet MY chef - mobile chefs that bring to you your very own personal catering solution.
Select from our hand-picked team of food professionals to supply your
  • HOME
with a superior dining experience. Dinner party, celebration, special occasion or just to treat yourself - our extensive range of chefs can provide anything from a personalised menu to authentic traditionally prepared regional specialities.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Selfish Genes, Why Dawkins is Wrong - Again !

Selfish genetic elements are genes or groups of genes that appear to promote themselves in an evolutionary sense irrespective of the organism they are a part of. The idea being that evolution is a competition for survival of the fittest gene and that it is the most successful genes that will gradually become more numerous and be transmitted to later generations.

Sexual reproduction is the means by which the genes of two organisms that have successfully survived to the point of being able to reproduce, are combined in a somewhat haphazard way to produce new organisms that will go on to face the trials of evolution. The fittest of these new organisms going on to recombine their genes in the next generation and so on.

As genes are the architects of the phenotypes that face the trials of evolution it is necessary that the most evolutionary successful phenotypes will have been the result of having certain genes and this will be reflected in the frequencies of the occurrence of a population's genes.

However, although it may appear that evolution is acting at a genetic level, evolution can only

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Pipe Organ Repairs

Exterior and interior view

I was asked to fix a 'broken key' on this two-storey high beauty.

The Specs.
Built in 1870 in England by P.C. Conacher it has three keyboards each with 56 notes and the pedal board contains 30 notes. There are 17 speaking stops, 5 couplers and a total of 986 pipes. The largest pipes are approximately 8 feet long and the smallest pipes are about one half inch.
It was built to an older design and even though an electric pump had been added, the original hand operated bellows where still intact and operable.
End specs.

Spent the afternoon in Chris' Heaven, scrabbling about inside figuring out which bits did what, when, where and how; with a big silly grin on my face the whole time. I found and repaired the connection on the key that was broken.

Having fixed the key, had to test it - stretched both my index fingers in preparation, took a deep breath, depressed a low E key, slowly wound the volume up to full and belted out that immortal riff by Deep Purple.............. Smoke on The Water.......sounded absolutely brilliant.

Wednesday, April 04, 2012

Cycling from West Beach to Mount Lofty summit with (almost) no traffic to contend with.

Distance 70 km (round trip)

Height 727m. approx.

Need a challenging ride in Adelaide but are acutely aware of the problems associated with cycle/car interactions - read more for details

Sunday, February 13, 2011

The Voynich Manuscript - Update

More news on the Voynich Manuscript - See The Voynich Manuscript - Solved (Posted Below).

 University of Arizona researchers have used radiocarbon dating to determine the age of the book, between 1404 and 1438.

Read the story here on the University of Arizona's website.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Hand-cranked Torch Used To Power Radio

I've liberated the power from an inexpensive hand-cranked torch so it can be used to run an inexpensive FM radio. The torch contains a small rechargeable battery that is charged by turning a crank-handle.

Why? - This equipment is being sent to a part of the world where batteries are very expensive, where farmers need torches to manage night-time pests and where farmers need radios that give them access to weather reports which help with crop management.

Click Read More build details.

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

2nd Prize Winner - Royal Adelaide Show

A model motorcycle I built from ordinary printer paper won a second prize at the Royal Adelaide Show 2010.
Congratulations to Dane Filander for taking first place.

Saturday, September 04, 2010

HELP English to Kiswahili Translation

I'm putting together a training programme for a UN volunteer organisation in the Western Region of Kenya.
If you can volunteer your help (a little or a lot) with the translation of documents from English to Kiswahili please email me for details

Wednesday, May 19, 2010


An analysis of dolphin interventions in shark attacks on humans concludes that dolphins have less than honorable motives.

Dolphins have earned a reputation for protecting humans from shark attacks, is this reputation deserved or has their behaviour been misinterpreted?

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Biogas Leak Detection (Canine)

Biogas typically refers to a gas produced by the biological breakdown of organic matter in the absence of oxygen.
The use of biogas technology is an alternative cooking energy for rural people in developing countries.
It provides clean cooking energy, reduces indoor air pollution and reduces the time needed for traditional biomass collection, especially for women and children. The slurry is a clean organic fertilizer that potentially increases agricultural productivity.
Unfortunately, the threat of leaks is a serious problem especially when the quality of materials and labour cannot be guaranteed. However it is relatively cheap and simple to train a local dog to detect the hydrogen sulphide that would be present in any leaks and have it alert someone nearby. Such an animal could easily be trained to carry out regular inspections. The sensitivity of a dog's nose is far greater than commercially available detectors and they can even detect leaks from underground pipes.

On a lighter note - it could also be used to identify anyone that 'passed wind' in a crowded meeting hall enabling the offender to be dealt with appropriately. ;)

Thursday, February 11, 2010

New Search Engine - AnthroPilot - Real Time, Human Driven

Anthropilot is a new human driven search engine designed to make the internet a better place for all.
Frustrated by the ever increasing difficulty of finding things on the internet, I decided to find a better way. After much consideration I decided that we needed a way of connecting people with experience and knowledge in particular areas with those that didn't have experience and knowledge in particular areas, then getting them to communicate.
So here it is - AnthroPilot - a forum where you can ask people to help you find what you're looking for on the internet or, where you can help others find what they are looking for.

Volunteers Needed
To get this project running we are going to need a couple of hundred members.
If interested visit

 Please re-post this ad somewhere else.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Ebay Scam - seller shaosan08

Sometimes the scams are easy to spot - it is in the BOLD print.
Read the questions at the bottom of this page.
Don't think he realises the Q&A's are public
- Hilarious

Click Here to see original Page On Ebay

Saturday, October 31, 2009

The Voynich Manuscript - Solved

Here is a copy of my 2003 (widely misreported as 2007) solution to the Voynich Manuscript - formerly the most mysterious book in the world.
As its home on
will soon no longer exist, along with its number one spot on google, I've moved it over here.  I've left it completely unedited and as it was. Written in some early hour of the morning as the effects of too much caffeine were starting to wear off, and just after the whirring of hard drives ceased, signalling the final analysis was completed and my results confirmed.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Naracoorte Fossil Expedition

Geared up for caving - Sorting bones in the Lab - Luxurious accommodation

I spent a few days fossil hunting with a team of Palaeontologists from Flinders University. The fossils being down the bottom of deep holes in the ground meant a crash course in caving - my perspective on the size of gap I can fit through has been completely revised.
Then some time was also spent in the Laboratory sorting 12,000 year old bones.
Sleep deprived, repeatedly frozen, battered, bruised and carnivorous plants - haven't had this much fun in a long time - my idea of a holiday!

Box of fossils - Team of intrepid cavers

Friday, July 10, 2009

Build Your Own Proxy Server in 5 Minutes

Need to get vital information at work but the website has been blocked by nannyware because some nong wrote a rude word in the comments section.
Why not build your own Proxy Server to give you the access you need?

You'll need some webspace that does php - google for free stuff if you don't already have it.

Open notepad and paste in the following five lines.

<form action="p.php" method="post">
<input type="text" name="t" value="http://www.">
<input type=submit name=submit value=submit >

Now save this file as "myproxy.html"

Open another notepad and paste in the following five lines.

$thefile = $_POST['t'];
$thepage = file_get_contents($thefile);
echo $thepage;

Save this file as "p.php"

Next, upload these two new files to your webspace.

That's it - type "" into your
browser,then type the address of the page you want to visit in the box
that appears on the page and hit the 'submit' button.

- this is the most basic, quick & dirty method I could come up with that mostly works most of the time. The more technically gifted amongst my readers will have noticed there are one or two security issues approximately the size of Greenland that could SERIOUSLY compromise the server if they are left lying around on there. So really, I mean it -

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

West Beach Eco Tours

Another WebSite by CHRIS - Software Development & Design

West Beach Eco Tours
You are invited on an interesting and informative walking tour of West Beach, the beautiful River Torrens and its surroundings - where you will discover its rich treasures and be surprised by all it has to offer. Be introduced to the diverse plant, animal and bird life that inhabit the area.
Learn about its Aboriginal history and stories and also the history and impact of the European settlement of South Australia.

West Beach Eco Tours

Monday, June 09, 2008


I've been working with a very talented team over at Channel 31 producing the T.V. show 'Hotel De Barton'. The problem was I didn't have good enough reception to watch my own T.V. show ! I was told that the transmitter was not very powerful and the only way I could get good enough reception in my little suburb by the beach was to install an external UHF antenna that had an uninterupted view of the transmission tower.
Unpersuaded by such a concept as 'impossible', I set about building a better antenna. Using the principles that I just needed to pick up more useful signal, less rubbish and wire all the bits to work synergistically I put together the best antenna I've ever had the pleasure to own. The prototype, nicknamed 'Frankantenna' because it was just plain ugly, is shown above along with a much prettier version for everyday use.